Do you notice feeling drained, trampled or just worn out after an encounter with an acquaintance or loved one? Maybe this person only wants to have interactions with you when they need support or maybe they tend to unload on you all the time.
How do you distinguish between someone going through a “rough patch” in life and someone who is just an emotional drain on you all the time?
I know someone who never asks how we are doing and insists on dominating the conversations and dwelling on all the “woe is me” crap. When the conversation shifts from all the pity me stuff it becomes very superficial. It feels like this person doesn’t care to know who we truly are, is not even thinking about how we are feeling and only maintains the relationship so they can have someone to dump stuff on.
We have stopped participating in the whiny conversations and have stopped pitying them and feeling bad for them. We are no longer enabling them but they just keep dumping the crap on us.
I have a hard time with people who take more than they give in a relationship. It is not healthy or fair and it really puts a strain on the relationship. So what can you do?
We often get criticized for pointing out the positive stuff about the situation when this person whines on about all the negative. When we express displeasure over the drama, sad stories or rude comments we are made to feel stupid for feeling or thinking that way. It is clear our views and opinions are not welcome or accepted yet we are expected to remain in the encounter and act as they want us to.
Naturally we have begun to distance ourselves from the undesirable encounters because it is obvious that we are not even close to getting anything positive from it. A relationship is supposed to be give and take, not just give, give, give… So what can you do other than just stop communicating with them?