I should start out by giving some background here. A few bloggers (here and here) are a buzz about parenting choices and being judgmental and it kind of ticks me off a bit.

I am not ticked off because they are okay with things like cry-it-out or because she admitted to NOT breastfeeding or blindly vaccinating. It isn’t the parenting choices that tick me off. Besides, I personally HATE people judging me so the last thing I want to do is get all judgey about someone else’s choices.

I am not of the same mindset on many of the parenting topics that have been mentioned lately but that isn’t the point. The person’s choices are irrelevant, the point is the intention and attitude of declaration that annoys me.

I know I am no saint regarding this. Also, I am not specifically criticizing the bloggers mentioned above. This goes deeper than a few blog posts, but the posts were certainly the breaking point for me.

Why does it have to be all or none? Why the crunchy/ non-crunchy comparison? Why talk about not being judgmental and then list all the things you can think of that you didn’t do as a parent, that invites judgement?

“I had my kids OUT of the hospital, even had one on the internet, live. I try to wear them when I can. I breastfeed them with my boob hanging out everywhere I go. I cloth diaper & use cloth pads.

We delay vaccinations, avoid processed food like the plague. We don’t cry-it-out here, we do co-sleep when needed. I grow my own food and my chickens give us three eggs every morning.”

Did you feel invited to judge me and my choices?

And, in proclaiming your own stances, like the above, are you then condemning those who choose different? It sure can be taken that way.

I know for a fact many of my site followers have taken things I’ve supported or shared out of context and felt judged or needlessly ashamed for taking a different route. For instance, when I shared info about how powdered formula ISN’T sterile.

Or homebirth. Because I choose one for myself does not mean I think you should too. I’d love to help those that are looking to explore home birth options (and I love to help more women be aware of these options) but I am not judging you for birthing in a hospital.

I do worry and sometimes cringe when I read various things people post about their own choices, don’t we all? Especially if a choice or decision was made blindly. Sometimes I even discuss these thoughts with my husband but I wont be stoning you or trolling sites and being confrontational about a difference in choice. That is the difference.

Thinking things and moving on is DIFFERENT than internalizing and then dumping your judgements on others. Whether it is intentional or not.

I respect your right to choose how you parent and what is best for you. Do I agree? Often the answer is probably no. Does that mean we can’t all play nice and still respect each other without flaming or taking sides? For some, it doesn’t and that is terrible.

I think homemade breastmilk soap is cool and when I read something I think is important I’ll often repost it on my blog, Facebook, Twitter or whatever.

To me those things are what is “BEST” for my own family. What is right for me is not necessarily what is right for someone else and that is cool but it doesn’t mean we can’t all learn about and discuss various topics, even the ones we don’t agree on.

Do I believe in and advocate for the things I am passionate about? Hell ya! But I wont be stoning anyone to death for not choosing my way and I’d appreciate the same respect and understanding from others.