This is a totally unprofessional, explicit post. Read at your own risk or simply move on

Actually, today is his birthday if I remember correctly…

Happy birthday gay ex -boyfriend!

Hun, I hope you are having lots of catty, diva fun and that you’ve acquired all you aspired to in life. Even if you had to steal the high school band’s instruments and sell them on ebay to get it

The thing that sucks about those gay high school sweethearts is sometimes they just don’t know they are gay yet, or they just want to use you as cover so they can prove to others they aren’t gay.

I still have no clue if I was just delusional about the gay factor for the entire 4 years or if it only reared it’s head at the end. Those who witnessed it will have to chime in below.

Regardless, I enjoy gay people… just not dating them for 4 years. It kind of fucks with your head while you wonder, “did I turn him gay?” or “why is he asking about anal?”

Oh, and did I mention I have a funnnny nude photo of him somewhere? Ha! Be glad I am not sharing that here!

The one that got away?

Seriously, A gay ex-boyfriend is totally one that you should be thankful to lose, like a hairy face wart or something. Trust me. I would know.

Besides, when you don’t have a diva boyfriend competing with you for attention, winterguard solos and popularity in general, life gets WAYYYY easier. Besides you can now be free of the boy band music, the sparkly pants and the glitter hair gel he loved.

What could be better?