If the last 48 hours are any indication I’d say the answer is yes. First, while enjoying some time in mommy’s bed Everly took a header off the bed. Scraped her spine on the bedside table and then lay in a crying crumpled mess on the floor next to the bed. The result: a six inch gash up her spine and mommy worrying about neck injuries or concussion.

The next day, while I was attempting to enjoy a relaxing time in the tub Everly busts in and joins me. Relaxing and reading morphed to toddler bath party.  Oh and Adalyn is screaming bloody murder with Nathan.

After we all get out of the tub Everly joins me and Adalyn on the bed, she now smashes her face on the headboard of the bed while jumping around.

Nathan attempts to herd Everly down the stairs so I can nurse Adalyn and get her to sleep. Everly is fighting going down stairs but gets herself down about a third of the way while horsing around (“Stair Sledding” basically). Nathan is yelling for her to settle and continue down the stairs when…

Thump, whump, whump whump…. “Oh, no, woh, woh, woh” Yells Nathan as he sprints down after Everly.

“Oh shit! My kid just fell down the stairs!”

Immediately I set Addie in the middle of the bed and go running after Nathan and Everly who are now crumpled at the bottom of the stairs. Everly is crying, Addie is crying and we are trying to assess the fall damage while comforting Everly.

Mommy is only in her undies…

It was quite a scene of madness but luckily, she’s got nothing but a few bruises to show for it. She did a good tuck-n-roll down the stairs it seems. And now she’s just bit her tongue bloody…

If we can keep this girl alive through this madness it will be a miracle.

What is it about the 2-3 year old clumsiness? Is it a growth spurt, a phase or what? Do tell.

Everly,

Sorry we’ve been irritated about your consistant 2am crying that you blamed on your radio, Sweetpea. We thought you were waking and turning it on for attention. Little did we know, your radio alarm was set and it was startling you awake each night this week.

That sure explains why you came bolting up the stairs each night in terror. I certainly do not enjoy waking to a radio announcers voice, even when I am expecting it. So, I now understand your fear and frustration.

Silly us, we just thought you were up to some terrible, toddler antics. Apologies. The teething baby induced, sleep deprivation must be taking it’s toll or something.

Love,
Your very clueless Mom & Dad

Before the days of babies and backyard chickens I couldn’t fathom explaining things like where babies come from or that we eat animals for dinner. These discussions must be horribly crushing for children, right?

“Yes, Sally. Our yummy bacon did come from Babe, so to speak. We eat pigs, cows, chickens, etc…”

I think, for most of society, being so far removed from the “unpleasantness of life” makes it more difficult. I mean as an adult, if you haven’t come eye to eye with these things it is understandable that some level of anxiety would accompany trying to explain them to others.

Furthermore, when children only see foods already cut up packaged all their lives it is quite shocking to later learn about the animals those things came from.

The quest for ultimate convenience has stripped us of the life lessons and the appreciation that often comes with self sufficiency.

Take for example, the eggs Everly just asked me to make her. After watching her collect two from the chicken hutch, I felt an enormous swell of pride when she immediately asked me to cook them up for her, fresh from the hens butt.

Maybe the pride is because my girl knows where her food comes from, which hen laid them and what that hen was munching (gasp, mom’s precious echinacia again?) in the days before she produced the egg. Maybe it is because we worked damn hard to make this “yard to table” concept a reality for our kids and now we are getting to enjoy the fruits of our labor.

Another good example is, one day the backyard chickens will end up on our dinner table. However, I am not suggesting you take your kid and slaughter an animal in front of them, that isn’t the point. Heck, I’ll probably have N take care of the slaughter without me all together when it is time. The point is, it is the presented concept of a food animal that is important.

These chickens are our food, they are cute, cuddly and we love them but we have them to feed our family.

I am seriously happy to see Everly collecting eggs, asking to eat them and knowing that she’ll come away from her childhood with a better grasp of how food gets to the table, more-so than I did as a child.

“Mommy, where did this come from?” she asks pointing a the carrot on her plate. “Picked in the garden?” Why, yes. Yes, it was picked in the garden.

“Mommy, where did this come from?” she asks pointing to a piece of chicken. From an amazing chicken, sweetpea.

The lifestyle and subsequent choices we make as parents will teach our kids far more than we can imagine. That alone is enough to drive me to live more self sufficiently because I want my girls to know where food comes from and how to feed themselves, without relying on a grocery store. Someday these skills might save their lives or shape the world.

“Mama, where are the baby chicks in these eggs?”

Plus, bringing up my girls in this way indirectly teaches them about life, death and birth as they observe our day to day lifestyle.

Self sufficiency is the skill I hope to impart on my girls. What is yours?

I am here to tell you that parenting, once begun, never ever stops. You have a baby, then another, and another, and think to yourself that one day, maybe in twenty years or so, that you will have your life back and be able to just sit back and relax. But let me tell you right now—that is not the case.

I had my babies when I was very young. I was 19 when my son was born, and turned 23 just three short weeks after the birth of my third child. My two daughters are very close in age—R  is 38 and E is 37. There is only 15 short months difference in their birthdates.  That is where the closeness ends though.

E, my youngest, left my home and set up housekeeping with her then boyfriend when she was 17 and still in high school. She and her guy got married and had a baby boy when she was 25. R chose to go to college and grad school, and live the single girl life in a big city, until she met her True Love a couple of years ago. My two girls rarely see each other face to face, mostly because one live on the east coast and the other lives in Canada. They talk infrequently to each other. They get their news of what is going on in each other’s lives through me, their mother.

This has been going on for about twenty years. Now that we all have Facebook, my four children (a stepdaughter joined our family when I married her Dad in 1992) keep in touch that way. And I write my blog.

I am in a weird place now. I want to be happy and giddy and shout about E’s newly announced pregnancy to anyone and everyone who will take the time to read it. She is so very happy!  Her son will be 10 years old in April, and she has suffered through two miscarriages in those years. She asked me to go to her last OB appointment with her, I am sure, because she was afraid of being alone if the doctor found anything wrong during the ultrasound. It was the first time I have seen one of my grandchildren via ultrasound, and it was soooo amazing!

But, I feel like very squeeee and pic of a new baby thing I have made or mention of Baby to Be is a slap in the face to R. She wants a baby so very much, and I want it for her because she wants it so much. She also had a miscarriage last spring, and took it very, very hard. She was so depressed in November, when her miscarried baby would have been due, that she wasn’t able to get out of bed on many days. I understand, and I as her mother wish so much that I could kiss away the hurt.

I’m still parenting. And as usual, there are no instructions. How do you stay so happy for one, while being hopeful for the other? Do I back off posting my happiness for one to prevent sadness of the other? It is so very hard to know what is the right thing to do.

—-

Karen writes at Fabgrandma, where she tells the world way too much about herself whether they want to know it or not. She writes about her life of living full time in an RV, eating a gluten free diet, things she does for fun, and things that are important to her. She makes you look at photos of her grandchildren, talks about her husband’s survival of oral cancer, shows you things she has made. You know you want to look.

I should start out by giving some background here. A few bloggers (here and here) are a buzz about parenting choices and being judgmental and it kind of ticks me off a bit.

I am not ticked off because they are okay with things like cry-it-out or because she admitted to NOT breastfeeding or blindly vaccinating. It isn’t the parenting choices that tick me off. Besides, I personally HATE people judging me so the last thing I want to do is get all judgey about someone else’s choices.

I am not of the same mindset on many of the parenting topics that have been mentioned lately but that isn’t the point. The person’s choices are irrelevant, the point is the intention and attitude of declaration that annoys me.

I know I am no saint regarding this. Also, I am not specifically criticizing the bloggers mentioned above. This goes deeper than a few blog posts, but the posts were certainly the breaking point for me.

Why does it have to be all or none? Why the crunchy/ non-crunchy comparison? Why talk about not being judgmental and then list all the things you can think of that you didn’t do as a parent, that invites judgement?

“I had my kids OUT of the hospital, even had one on the internet, live. I try to wear them when I can. I breastfeed them with my boob hanging out everywhere I go. I cloth diaper & use cloth pads.

We delay vaccinations, avoid processed food like the plague. We don’t cry-it-out here, we do co-sleep when needed. I grow my own food and my chickens give us three eggs every morning.”

Did you feel invited to judge me and my choices?

And, in proclaiming your own stances, like the above, are you then condemning those who choose different? It sure can be taken that way.

I know for a fact many of my site followers have taken things I’ve supported or shared out of context and felt judged or needlessly ashamed for taking a different route. For instance, when I shared info about how powdered formula ISN’T sterile.

Or homebirth. Because I choose one for myself does not mean I think you should too. I’d love to help those that are looking to explore home birth options (and I love to help more women be aware of these options) but I am not judging you for birthing in a hospital.

I do worry and sometimes cringe when I read various things people post about their own choices, don’t we all? Especially if a choice or decision was made blindly. Sometimes I even discuss these thoughts with my husband but I wont be stoning you or trolling sites and being confrontational about a difference in choice. That is the difference.

Thinking things and moving on is DIFFERENT than internalizing and then dumping your judgements on others. Whether it is intentional or not.

I respect your right to choose how you parent and what is best for you. Do I agree? Often the answer is probably no. Does that mean we can’t all play nice and still respect each other without flaming or taking sides? For some, it doesn’t and that is terrible.

I think homemade breastmilk soap is cool and when I read something I think is important I’ll often repost it on my blog, Facebook, Twitter or whatever.

To me those things are what is “BEST” for my own family. What is right for me is not necessarily what is right for someone else and that is cool but it doesn’t mean we can’t all learn about and discuss various topics, even the ones we don’t agree on.

Do I believe in and advocate for the things I am passionate about? Hell ya! But I wont be stoning anyone to death for not choosing my way and I’d appreciate the same respect and understanding from others.

I look at you and see this amazing little person. You are not a baby anymore, not physically and not mentally. Your intuition is something else and I hope you never lose your drive to press ahead and to forge your own path.

You’ve always seemed to have your own pace and time table for stuff, your own little internal compass and time table.

At about 7 months old, even though we weren’t rushing to start solids, you began stealing my food from me. I remember the first time clearly. It was on a trip, for Mama’s birthday. We were eating takeout as a special treat. PF Changs, and you just reached out and stole some food off a fork for yourself. A noodle. From there your relationship with food began.

Once solid food became a regular thing, you gradually decreased your daytime breastfeeding sessions. Just before your first birthday you settled at only nursing before naps and before bed.

Then at 16 months you weaned yourself from breastfeeding completely! Mommy’s pregnancy probably had something to do with it but we were in no hurry to end that relationship prematurely… But when you felt ready you just tapered off and eventually stopped wanting to nurse. And you haven’t looked back, even now, with your baby sister nursing in front of you.

Shortly after self weaning you also took the plunge, literally, and began rejecting your crib. This set the stage for transitions to your toddler bed which you now rock like a grownup. We hardly ever have issues with you trying to come out of your room when it is sleeping time. It is crazy!

We are also still in utter amazement over your self-led potty training. You started out loving your nakedness and that in turn taught you about your bodily functions.

Before we knew it you were succeeding at using your potty chair during your awake-naked times. Then one day you just asked to sleep diaper free and that was that. You are even having public-outing-potty-success which seems crazy to me. There have been a few accidents along the way but your maturity and your understanding of things has made you this amazing little person, way earlier than we expected.

I feel like I got pregnant with your sister, I blinked and you just transformed from a baby to a little person. I missed the exact moment of transition and am still in awe when I look at you or when I see photos/ video of you as a baby. You are such a big, little girl now. So much growth, learning and maturing has taken place in such a short time.

Picture this:
In the kitchen I stand, discussing trip logistics with Nathan. While discussing the need, or lack thereof for a portable potty chair we hear this terrible scraping and thumping above us.

“Is a cat falling off the loft wall again?”

We halt our discussions to look above us for falling cats. A few times the cats have actually fallen from the loft bedroom ledge above hitting the plant shelves, the breakfast bar and various other things on the way down.

In runs Everly waving her arms, like an agitated Sims character, but we ignore her and continue searching for the cause of the strange noise. She streaks out and continues carrying on and flailing.

Once we’ve sufficiently searched about for falling cats, the fog of tuning your kid out clears and I hear Everly yelling

“Mah balloon, Mah balloon!”

Earlier that day Everly got a balloon while we were out at a restaurant…

We realize what is actually going on now. “Oh crap! Her balloon is floating up past the loft wall to the second floor ceiling!” We both run to investigate and hope we can intervene before the balloon pops, cause you all know what happens when a kid’s balloon pops in front of them.

Upstairs we find a balloon all tangled in the ceiling fan in our bedroom. We hear, Thuwump, thump as the fan spins and “Mah balloon, mah balloon!” as we scramble to shut the fan off and assess the damage.

Crap, I guess I better grab the ladder and why not dust the fan while we are up there?

Luckily, no balloons were popped in the making of this memory. There was a massive tangled mess and lots of drama but we got a good laugh out of it all. And the fan got cleaned too.

Now whenever we need a laugh we yell in a weird voice “Mah Balloon, mah balloon!” because it was a seriously dumb parenting moment with both of us scratching our heads in confusion.

Teething infants are so sad. Right now Miss Adalyn is not a happy camper at all. She’s been showing signs of teething for about a month now. She is a feisty one too. Even more than her red-headed sister.

Holding her doesn’t work, she gets even more upset when you try rubbing her back or touching her at all. She is even refusing to nurse at times. With Everly 24/7 nursing helped her calm down and stay meltdown free.

Adalyn only seems to enjoy warm baths, naked time and the bathroom lights/ mirror to distract her. The rest of the time she’s sleeping quietly or screaming and punching your face while you hold her.

I can’t even explain how relieved I am that she is now passed out.

Nobody wake the angry, hurting baby!

Nope, I am not joking. See what I mean->

Yuck!

I got off easy based on some of the poop mess stories my mother told about me.

Still, Everly sure has a knack for pooping at nap time, and when she wants to read books while she sits on the pot she opts for her in-room potty chair instead of the potty seat that you see in this photo.

She’s also and observant one that strives to do all the things we also do, so when she see us dump her potty chair deposits in the toilet she catalogs that for future mayhem…

Funny that I was just remarking on facebook about how long she typically naps and how odd it seemed. Hope I didn’t jinx nap time for good.

Then, like she did today, during a fit of nap refusal she decides to have a nice messy poop in her potty chair.

Then she puts her clothes back on and takes her potty chair bowl to the toilet where she accidentally pours the poop on her potty seat, then she procedes to try washing the potty bowl in the sink.

The running water in the bathroom is what tipped me off. Did I mention she also wiped her bottom and tried wiping the potty seat mess? So many wipes were used that upon flushing the toilet- it backed up.

Now that the poop is all cleaned up I can laugh about it with all of you – but I can’t get the poop smell out of my nose

We didn’t travel or spend the holidays with family or friends. Frankly, the cost of airline travel is ridiculous so we rarely fly. Plus, with young children, travel is pretty stressful so we often avoid it.

However, when we were alerted to a killer deal on flights back to Arizona we were considering the possibilities. Later that weekend, when family members offered to chip in to help cover costs we knew it was something we really needed to do.

Many family members haven’t met Adalyn in person and it has been about 2 years since we’ve been back to Arizona, Everly was just 7 months old when we went last. So, we broke down and bought some plane tickets.

We committed to airline travel, with two small children. *gulp*

It is official a trip back to Arizona is in the cards for us. This is both exciting and kind of daunting at the same time. I am not publishing the dates we are traveling (obviously) but if you want to try hooking up with us get in touch and we’ll share the dates & times privately.

After the excitement of scoring a sweet deal on airline travel we started to realize all the things there are to stress about when traveling with two small children.

Carry ons, checked bags & personal items… Oh my!

Seriously, the various rules, fees and guidelines regarding baggage are enough to make your head spin. Especially when traveling with small children.

Infants can sit on your lap for free but toddlers need a plane ticket. If you want your infant to sit in a car seat you’ll likely need to buy a plane ticket, unless the seat next to you is vacant and unsold. But you’ll have to move the infant if they tell you to.

Ticket holding toddlers can sit in their car seat on the plane and they also get to bring a carry on bag, the car seat is not considered their carry on. Additionally, they can also have a free checked car seat or collapsible stroller.

The infant sitting on your lap gets a free checked car seat or collapsible stroller but no carry on bag. We, the ticketed adults, will each get a free carry on bag as well as a “personal item” we can bring on the plane at no cost. “Personal items” are purses, laptop bags, camera bags, etc.

Then there are the fees a limits to what checked bags ticket holders can bring… and the liquid restrictions… Oh, and don’t bring your pocket knife.

Young kids & routine disruption = HELL

“Of course you can stay with us, we have a guest room all ready!”

Staying with family is great for many reasons. I am sure they’ll all hate us after the first few nights though. Having Adalyn, Everly, Nathan and myself all sleeping in one room should be utter madness. Plus, all the other people in the house will be unfortunate witnesses to the madness.

What is worse is that we’ll have no way to control the madness.

Everly, like most two-year-olds, has issues sleeping in unfamiliar places. When we went to The Farm to wait for Adalyn’s birth it took a solid week to get Everly acclimated to a new room and sleeping at night. When we stay in a hotel she cycles between streaming-crying and running-bouncing off the walls at bed time. Sleep seriously doesn’t not happen, unfortunately. And that was before we had a newborn to throw in the mix.

I have no idea how we will get Everly calm, resting and also keep her that way with Addie waking 2 or 3 times a night for feeds. It is anybody’s guess how all this travel madness will play out…

But I figure if we can survive a cross-country move in a 1977 Winnebago packed with 4 people, 5 cats, 2 rabbits, 1 dog and 2 birds, plus much of our personal property- then we can survive anything right?

Oh and maybe Nathan wont have a bird shit on his head in the airport terminal this time, unlike last time.