Or…

How to create a custom template file for single post pages.

It happen to me, I got the dreaded email from a BlogHer team member about a sponsored post that violated the agreement. Doh!! I am a violator, but not intentionally. I violated because I am an idiot basically.

You see, my baby only poops once every week or so and she cries and has the most raunchy farts you’ve ever smelled. She’s a very unhappy girl so her mommy and daddy are also unhappy, tired and quite brain dead.

I am four weeks postpartum and my pregnancy brain hasn’t cleared up, so when the Tune-In Bar came to my attention I was stoked to put it on my site and didn’t realize I’d have no means to remove the bar from my few sponsored post pages. Oops & crap!

Thankfully I did find a easy way to remove the Tune-In Bar code from only my sponsored post pages using a plugin, custom templates, some basic knowledge about templates and HTML knowledge.

I did this on my wordpress self hosted blog this week and you can too. Here is how:

1. First install and activate the Single Post Template Plugin here: http://www.nathanrice.net/plugins/single-post-template/

2. Next, create your own custom template file without the BlogHer Tune-In Bar code. Yeah, it is more complicated that I just made it sound in that sentence but I’ll walk you through it. It is easy, you can do it!

• First using an FTP program such as FileZilla locate and download the single.php file from your current template.
• Rename the single.php file, try something like altsingle.php and upload it to your server with all your other template files.
• Edit the alternative template file you just renamed & uploaded. I edited mine in the backend of my WordPress, self hosted blog by going to “appearance” and then “editor”.
• Add the following to the very top of your file:
  

  <?php

  /*

  Single Post Template: [Descriptive Template Name]

  Description: This part is optional, but helpful for describing the Post Template

  */

  ?>

• I kept my single.php template file exactly the same but just replaced the <?php get_header(); ?> string with an entire copy and paste of the contents of my header.php file minus the BlogHer Tune-In Bar code
• Save the edited alternative template file. Then go to a post and test it out.
  

If you start a new post or edit an existing post you’ll now find a dropdown menu allowing you to select the template file you’d like to use.

Using this method the sky is the limit with your post pages. You can remove a portion of the side bar or the entire the side bar. Remove the header, footer, a BlogHer Ad code, add some custom tracking code… Whatever you can dream up can be done just by using custom templates.

This makes me quite happy as you can see. Probably because it’s like the only thing I am not a floundering idiot at these days. I can’t make my newborn baby happy right now but I can make custom templates and tell you how to make them too. That is a win I’ll be savoring until the next win cause a girl needs something to hold on to.

Enjoy your custom template making!

You might also consider reading this post: http://www.wpbeginner.com/wp-themes/create-custom-single-post-templates-for-specific-posts-or-sections-in-wordpress/ for further explanation. It is a similar post on the same concept. Or leave your questions in the comments section and I’ll try to help you out.

In might be the wafting poo smell or the internal abuse I am taking from the oh-so-fragile, yet so damn boney & strong baby inside me… Or it could be hormones and effed up schedules but I am in a strange place today.

My dog is pooping on the storm windows that are stacked up outside, still needing to be put away for the warmer weather. I am emotionally eating everything in sight but it all has nowhere to go since about 3/4ths of my abdomen contains baby.

Some idiot came over here and posted a rude and stupid comment on one of my posts which is slightly amplified by the fact that nobody ever comments anymore…

Social media and the general rush, rush, rush atmosphere of the internet is sucking the community out of my site day by day. I am not the only one either. People want instant gratification, they read and peace out or just settle for the 140 characters posted on twitter or the cryptic notes on facebook to relate to each other.

Social media is great in moderation and balance, it’s toxic when it becomes the only means for communication and replaces real time interractions. I don’t think this particular musing is hormones speaking either… Or is it?

Well part of it could be since I am feeling particularly isolated as I near the end of my pregnancy. I wont go in to great detail but I think the need to feel supported is amplified (even for those of us that normally never need anyone) when pregnancy happens. Even the second time around, apparently.

I blog to help close the gap between far away friends, family and those I’ve never met face to face. I believe each experience (whether it’s smattered in poop and awful or all rose colored and amazing) is valuable and can provide knowledge, comfort or companionship to those seeking it.

Sometimes it feels like the giving overshadows the receiving… and that results in off-taste humor, blunt TMI sharing, talking in circles and a whole slew of other things, or it is just the hormones. Who knows…

I did it! I put on something other than a nursing tank and pajama pants and then hauled my ass out of the comforts of my house to attend a Social Media Club of Evansville meeting. If you have a twitter or facebook you can hook up with a Social Media Club in your area too!

You see, N was home sick and while he was nursing his flu like symptoms I was free to leave the house in the evening. I planned to get some networking in and to blow off a little steam after the hellish week we just survived.

I knew some people I would enjoy seeing there, so I headed out to take a break and possibly learn something. Instead I was sucked in to a heated ethics debate revolving around the idea presented by the guest speaker…

Nobody follows a celebrity account, (on twitter, facebook or whatever) to chat up some marketing or PR firm that was hired right? I know I am not interested in following fake personal accounts. So wouldn’t the same apply for business accounts?

Falseness on the internet sucks but with all the anonymity it is everywhere. Companies pay bloggers to write positive things about them, they give away free things to generate positive buzz among people. People rave about and share words on the internet for money or free stuff. It is deceitful, it makes people look less credible and is often attempt to portray the company in a false light as to scam consumers.

Bloggers are ruled by the FTC to disclose when they are compensated for reviewing, plugging or posting about a product or service, this is to protect the consumer. So why wouldn’t the same apply for a company whose specialty is to take a brand and “make it cool” or whatever…

People cannot be paid to post glowing reviews about products or companies because it is deceitful to the consumer. But companies or brands can hire PR firms to set up and run their social media accounts acting on their behalf to create a false persona for the company?

It seems the same to me, deceitful to consumers. Maybe because I am not a marketing/ PR professional I just don’t get it or something… From my perspective it just seems questionable.

It is a very gray area it seems because tonight the meetings speaker and his associates became very defensive when asked their thoughts on the ethics of it all. The tone was so defensive and harsh that it immediately caused me to chime in echoing the same thoughts regarding the ethics.

I mean if you “liked” a business on facebook would you feel deceived if you found out that the business wasn’t actually posting and handling correspondences?

Personally, I would. Unless I only followed the page to gain an entry to a contest or something and didn’t care about actually having a meaningful, honest interaction with the business.

Then again, I wouldn’t be inclined to follow a company unless I thought it would be a meaningful, honest interaction…

Apparently a local restaurant I am already following is a client of said speaker and I HAVE been deceived. Doesn’t leave me feeling very good about the restaurant anymore.

I mean isn’t making connections and having real interactions the whole point of social media anyway? For me and many others it is. When I follow a favorite locally owned business I do expect that the owner (or another real person within the company) is running the account, not some firm they hired.

So, I kind of reacted to the whole situation at the meeting tonight, usually this sort of thing doesn’t get under my skin so much. Maybe it was my bitchiness surfacing after the past week ever or maybe it really is an ethical concern more consumers should be aware of. It all just made my blood boil a bit.

Either way I got out, got involved, blew off some steam and got a glimpse of some other perspectives of social media. So what to you think about all this? Ethical concern or just the ways of the business world?

We are approaching a crossroads (again) and have begun discussions of future and goals. I know, we just did this how many years ago?

Well, lots has happen since we got ourselves all figured out and now it seem we need to start figuring out things again.

The thing is, it is crazy how easy it is to go through life day to day not fully understanding your ultimate goals/ hearts desires. I realized this when N and I began a dialogue about what was next for us.

Apparently after reaching many of our goals we’ve just sorted rested on our laurels and have been coasting through for a while not really thinking much about our next steps.

Sure, it’s way easier to just take it day by day and not look to far ahead. Especially after feverishly planning and working your butt off for so many years, but without knowing (and being able to define) your goals & priorities it’s pretty hard to devise a game-plan for the immediate future that will help you to reach those goals and fulfill those priorities. Doh! Time to get cracking again.

Since I am gonna pressure N to list his top 5 I figured it was only fair to make my own list too. Here is what I came up with for my priorities:

1. Raise my child in the best way possible.
2. Spend time with family and savor the moments.
3. Financial stability & comfort.
4. Self sufficiency, sustainability & reducing environmental footprint.
5. Lead a more healthy lifestyle.

The top three were easy but the bottom two required some thought. I wrote them in the order they came to me too. I would like to put healthy lifestyle further up on the list but I would be lying if I moved it up. I am lazy and when finances or energy is depleted I do eat like crap and treat my body badly, it is the honest truth.

Another thing I noticed once my list was complete is my lack of goals that relate to my own fulfillment. Notice how I am not concerned with growing myself in any way… The self sufficiency is a hobby so it kind of is about just me, I guess. I worry that not focusing on myself might leave me in a bad place later but my heart is in giving my all to the family I’ve longed for and finally have.

I feel like we are headed to moving our health and environmental footprint above the financial stability part in terms of being willing to forgo the cheapo crap foods and spend more money and even time acquiring safer, healthier better for us foods. Like the grass-fed, free range meat share we committed to and our switch to hormone free milk. We also beefed up our garden tons this year and have been enjoying much organic, self-grown produce.

Jotting down my top 5 priorities list really does bring fourth some interesting observations. I think there are many positive ways I could revise the list to turn out my goals and get me focused and heading the right direction.

I know I need to find a balance between motherhood and me, so I don’t lose myself. N and I need to make an effort to be a couple as well as parents. I really need to work harder at NOT taking the easy way out when it comes to my health and nutrition…

There are so many things I’d like to be doing differently but I won’t make the goals unless I am sure I am ready to commit to them 100%. It’s gonna take some pondering and weighing, I am one step in the right direction though.

Now to compare my list with N’s and see how we can mesh the two so that we are on track as a family.

So, what does your list look like? Care to share here or in a post on your own blog?

I’ve had several “wild hairs” these last few weeks. You know, things like hacking off almost all my hair on a whim, starting new business ventures and such.

Some of you may recall me mentioning an exciting new site I was working on. It’s gone live and I am now working to build and grow it. I present to you ChirpCal.com

If you are on twitter you know that hashtag chats are a growing trend. People host them to create buzz and to give things away, others host and participate in them to chat about popular topics or to share experiences with others.

If you’ve ever tweeted with a hashtag (#) then you’ve been involved in a chat or “twitter party” of some sort. Following a twitter chat or party is as easy as searching that particular hashtag and following along with the real time conversation.

I’ve participated in many and have found them addicting and tons of fun. My favorite chat right now is the #bfcafe one that takes place on thursdays. The idea is for nursing mothers to come together to support one another, answer questions and sometimes businesses even donate prizes to be given away.

Anyway, there are a number of reoccurring chats that take place on twitter but keeping track of them is hard. Some are weekly, some monthly and some are occasional and non reoccurring.

How is a person supposed to keep up with all this activity and where can you go to find existing chats to participate in? That is where ChirpCal comes in to play.

The idea is that is will be a free calendar with user generated (and moderated) events listed by date, category and with event specific details all in one place. Eventually I’d love to have every scheduled chat listed on the calendar!

This will be a tremendous resource for everyone (both chat users and event promoters). It will also be a great resource for finding info about trending chat topics. Yay!

Problem is I can’t possibly research and catalog all the chats that are out there, especially with little Tater Tot motoring around and exploring everything she shouldn’t.

I want to offer a few free banner ad spots for ChirpCal.com in exchange for help building and growing the site. Don’t worry it will be easy!

I have 2 ad spots for the top 2 event contributors to the site and 1 for the person who drives the most traffic to the site. Please visit ChirpCal.com and read the specifics about how to enter yourself and spread the word about the new site okay? I am so excited!

I couldn’t believe my eyes! While looking at my twitter streams today I see that someone has tweeted about how “#NOTOKAYATALL” it is to have your breast out feeding a baby while in their store.

PaulFrank_LA said: Having ur whole boob out & breastfeeding in r store #NOTOKATALL

Seriously? A business twitter stream is bagging on breastfeeding despite that fact that public breastfeeding is protected by law. People are responding and outraged. They are screwed and people are talking, see:

It all reminds me of the Nestle boycott mess that is flying around Facebook and twitter. When are companies going to realize that the bad stuff spreads like widlfire on social networks?

I am curious to see how corporate responds to all the backlash and if it continues. Will they issue a more heartfelt apology? Would you boycott a company over something like this or something similar? What are your thoughts?

Since Everly’s birth my passion for blogging has taken a totally different direction. Before I was able to come up with worthwhile content ideas, develop them, take the time to write them and I even was able to couple my ideas with video or photos I’d just taken. Me and my mind had peace and fluid train of thought.

Now that I’ve got a little one to tend to, my focus is on fulfilling her needs and taking in all the amazing moments of her development. My mind is a mess. One second I’ll remember that the laundry needs to be hung and that I had something I needed to do outside. Maybe some possible blog content comes to me at some point but I never have much time to take note of the content idea and develop it…

You see I am inspiration driven. Not being able to sit down and get working on a post right when it comes to me has totally killed my writing. As a result, all I have to write about at the end of the day is basically how the day went. Everything else just passes in a blur, that is motherhood for ya huh?

I’ve watched my commenters decrease as the days tick by and deep down inside I know it is because the regular person can only read about kid updates so much before it just become eye-gougingly-boring. I am a dreaded “mommy blogger” huh? Sucks but I just don’t have much to work with right now…

As the months pass and parenthood becomes more routine my ability to multi-task and take care of other obligations is returning. Shoot, I am even getting a few somewhat decent posts knocked out once in a while!

I don’t resign to being a “here-are-some-more-updates-about-my-kid-and-that-is-all-I-can-manage-to-write-about” blogger but for the time being that is the reality huh?

I really don’t like niche or blog topic classifications like “mommy blogger”… I think that defining ourselves (with niches and categories kind if stifles creativity and inhibits our abilities to evolve in the most authentic way. Who is to say you have to only blog about one topic anyway?

Coming to conclusions about where you fit in in the grand scheme of things is fine but doing so while you are still evolving just makes writers block even harder to work through, in my opinion. Besides, as our lives change our blogging changes. This renders those conclusions pointless anyway right?

I know many other bloggers who’ve reached this point with their lives and blogs. For me, I don’t think there is any reason to close up the blog or for me to loose friendships and connections made through the years. I mean just because your life changes doesn’t mean you have to forget everyone and everything from the past right?

So, yeah… My life and 5 year old blog are evolving, again. I have no idea which direction we are headed but we are surely going somewhere good. I hope.

Haven’t shared a strange search terms post in a while. Been getting lots of perverted lookie-loos, lol. I’ve sprinkled this edition with some odd tidbits of knowledge to intrigue or to just educated those perverted lookie-loos. Enjoy!

how many nipples do babies have at birth
-> Um, usually just the two if you are talking human babies. Did you know the Tailless Tenrec is the mammal with the most nipples? Tailless Tenrec babies are born with 24 nipples. What is a Tailless Tenerec you ask?

nipples: the next big thing
-> You know big nipples make for an easier and clearer landing for baby especially if you are in to letting newborn baby perform the “Breast Crawl”.

men blood blisters breast
-> If someone pinched it or was sucking it you probably do have a nipple blister my friend. To pop or not to pop? Personally I am a popper. Grab that sewing needle, sterilize it, pop that baby and squeeze. But don’t leave the needle on the counter for your dumb cat to swallow like I did.

before and after nursing nipples
-> I took a poll on twitter. It’s true nipples do change after nursing! Responses were:

Yeah, they were pretty flat before. I had an oversupply and my first baby used to yank wicked hard at the breast. Now they protrude.

very much!

yep! They are huge!

yes, unfortunately, they got bigger, will they go back to normal?

hear nipple woman
-> Yeah, I searched this term and came up with lots of stuff I’d rather not share here on the blog. I am sure there is someone out there referred to as “nipple woman” that you could listen to. I’d rather not find out anymore about that though. Besides could Nipple Woman actually have anything to share that I’d want to hear?

fun open Christmas gifts with gloves on?
-> Yep, I’ve heard of people opening gifts with gloves on, kind of a fun- make people laugh idea. Even better us to try wrapping the gifts with gloves on. Speaking of gloves, did you know they make gloves for texting and using various other touch screen devices? Yep, you can be warm and use those electronics, Score!

Welcome to The Dating Profiles Meme . This meme is based on a feature from WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser.

Either you have used sites such as Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them right? Well The Dating Profiles Meme scours those on-line dating sites, weekly so we can to respond to them.

Well, I am a tad lat on this one but better late than never right? This is my first attempt, here it goes:

The Dating Profiles Meme: Hard Times

1. Why is this so hard?

Probably because you are a bit creepy and are trying way to hard.

2. Walk with me.

Why so you can get me out in the forest and bash my head in or try to molest me?

3. My software is state of the art.

Ha, ha! If you have to say that then I know you are wrong. I call that “my penis is going to fall off” syndrome.

4. Can’t believe I did this.

Your girlfriend can’t believe it either buddy!

5. Life is an adventure or nothing.

What the hell does that mean? Either you are way in to drama (aka. adventure) or you are severely depressed.

6. Looking for someone to get to no.

You should look for a book on English grammar and educate yourself a tad more. Brains are attractive.

7. I am absolutely terrible at this!!

Which is why you should just stop trying.

8. Anything is possible, right?

Well I guess so but given your morbid demeanor I am gonna guess it wont.

9. It’s your last day to live, live it.

Um, yeah. Live it and quit hanging around dating sites feeling all lonely.

10. I enjoy text messages.

Because you lack people skills?

Ahem, I guess N is right I’ve still got some anger and bitterness in me these days as a result of some work drama. LOL. The Dating Profiles Meme was a perfect way to get it all out without making someone want to murder themselves. Ha!

Okay, I stole this from TapThatMom and am just now getting around to posting it…

Have you seen the last person you texted naked?
Um, nope he is my boss at the high school. That would be wrong, big time.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
In undies a nursing top and with my hair in a towel? Yep, sure could. Never will but could so do it.

Last person you were on the phone with for more than 20 minutes, when?
My mom of course.

Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
Um, never. I thought tongue rings were hot on guys for a while and I pierced my belly button with a safety pin in middle school.

Who will you be sleeping with tonight?
My self! We are in a hotel with 2 full beds (so small)… N’s in one, me in the other and E in her pack n play.

Is there a girl or boy you would do anything for?
Yeah, several.

Would you rather be in a relationship or play the field?
Ha, a relationship of course. Dating sucks!

What woke you up this morning?
N getting dressed.

Who’s hoodie did you wear last?
Um, mine… Like back when I was preggo. It was this knit hoodie, so comfortable! No hoodies for me now. Gotta have access to the girls and hoodies don’t allow for that

Would you date someone if they asked you right now?
Nah.

Where were you when you heard Michael Jackson died?
I was just recovering from the birth of Everly at The Farm and my step dad texted my mom so she could tell me.

Would you ever get a tattoo with someone’s name on it?
Nope.

If you get a chance to move somewhere, where would you move?
Um, Tennessee, Washington, Oregon, the Carolinas… Pretty much anywhere.

Are you mad at anyone?
Yeah, some backstabbing people.

Have you ever been called a tease?
Actually no… That’s not good huh?

Is it possible to be single and happy?
Yes.

Do you trust people easily?
At first but once trust is broken that is usually it.

Do you want to see somebody right now?
Not really.

Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment?
No…

Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to?
Yeah, loss sucks no matter who it is.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed?
N

Are you happy with the choices you’ve made?
Of course, wouldn’t change a thing.

Have you jumped in a pool with all your clothes on?
No, been pushed thrown though.

Is it okay to kiss people if you’re single?
Yeah, even when you aren’t single it can be okay.

Have you ever in anyway been betrayed by someone you trust?
Oh yeah, way to often that I should.

Would you rather date someone older than you or younger?
I married an old man ;-P

Do you remember who you liked on New Years?
N

Have you ever been around a person who was high?
Yeah.

Are promises important to you?
Some of them.

Would you ever consider living with anyone on your top friends?
Yeah, and I have and still do.

Did anything “cute” happen in this week?
Yeah, E just giggled for me. First time ever!

Have you had sex in the last two weeks?
… No. What? I just recently had a baby and a 4th degree tear!

Have you ever copied someone else’s homework?
Yeah…

Do you wash your hair in the shower?
Yeah but it’s usually in the bath. I like baths better. I don’t wash it every day though.

What year where you born in?
1982

How much cash do you have at the moment?
Me? None… N has it all. Like $60

Do you get along with girls?
Yeah, some of them.

What’s on your mind right now?
Sherbet ice cream and backstabbing people.

What color is your hair?
Depends…

Do you like your name?
Yeah. As a kid I wanted to be named Tiffany though.

Do you tend to fall for people easily?
Not at all.

Is the last person you kissed mad at you?
No.

Does a kiss make you feel better?
No.

Have you ever run over an animal?
A dead one? Yep. I’ve not killed one though.

Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Oh yeah.

Do you like ice-cream?
Yes, it is yum!!

What are you listening to right now?
Miss Congeniality on the TV.

Was it a boy or a girl to text you first today?
A girl, a backstabbing one.

Who last called you baby?
Nobody… Just “babe”.

What’s the last thing you “aw”ed at?
Everly of course.

Ever felt like you’re not good enough?
No, I’ve felt like people think I am not though.

Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
Yeah, why wouldn’t I?

Do you think you’re wasting your time on the person you like?
Um, no..?

If you could change something you’ve done would you?
No.