My garden teaches me a lesson about life.

April 28th, 2008

Yep you read the title right, my garden educated me today. Yesterday we spent money on our garden, you see we love to grow and enjoy stuff and since we had just received some product rebates we had some “free money”. We couldn’t think of a better way to burn free money.

So we bought some perennial flowers, some berry bushes and some herbs. Our last danger of frost is like june 15th here in Northern Arizona so we had to cover and bring some of the tender plants inside last night. This morning when I was taking N to work we dragged the plants back outside to get some sun and I figured it would be nice to do my computer work outside to enjoy the warmer weather and the beauty of my new plants.

When I manage to drag myself outside to enjoy my surroundings I always end up reflecting on life and relaxing… So here I am watching the birds, feeling the breeze and enjoying everything around me when I start to think about all the hardy plants in my garden. Plants like echinacea, geraniums, yarrow, daffodils, tulips, muscari and berry bushes all have to weather the storms- literally. They go dormant during the winter and hang on for dear life through the snow, ice and freezing temperatures. Come spring the plants miraculously reappear despite the harsh, long winter and are as beautiful as ever.

Weather and the garden are symbolic. Seasons change as do circumstances and stages in our lives. We all have storms to endure and at the time it can feel like we wont make it. There is uncertainty and doubt but come spring the winds change and new beginnings abound.

We are faced with opportunities that we never dreamed would be possible and often times we don’t even see that the hard times are what got us to where we are today. Without the chilling temperatures the tulips would never have had the opportunity to bloom again.

So, when it seems like you are lost in the confusion of change and uncertainty remember that the changing seasons are necessary to get you to the next stage. Trust that things will work out and that you will end up where you need to be even if you can’t see it happening at this exact moment. Life has a plan for each of us, even when we can’t see it.

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What can you do about an emotionally draining person?

April 12th, 2008

courtesy of: http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/dcflash/oct05/images/Stressed.jpg

Do you notice feeling drained, trampled or just worn out after an encounter with an acquaintance or loved one? Maybe this person only wants to have interactions with you when they need support or maybe they tend to unload on you all the time.

How do you distinguish between someone going through a “rough patch” in life and someone who is just an emotional drain on you all the time?

I know someone who never asks how we are doing and insists on dominating the conversations and dwelling on all the “woe is me” crap. When the conversation shifts from all the pity me stuff it becomes very superficial. It feels like this person doesn’t care to know who we truly are, is not even thinking about how we are feeling and only maintains the relationship so they can have someone to dump stuff on.

We have stopped participating in the whiny conversations and have stopped pitying them and feeling bad for them. We are no longer enabling them but they just keep dumping the crap on us.

I have a hard time with people who take more than they give in a relationship. It is not healthy or fair and it really puts a strain on the relationship. So what can you do?

We often get criticized for pointing out the positive stuff about the situation when this person whines on about all the negative. When we express displeasure over the drama, sad stories or rude comments we are made to feel stupid for feeling or thinking that way. It is clear our views and opinions are not welcome or accepted yet we are expected to remain in the encounter and act as they want us to.

Naturally we have begun to distance ourselves from the undesirable encounters because it is obvious that we are not even close to getting anything positive from it. A relationship is supposed to be give and take, not just give, give, give… So what can you do other than just stop communicating with them?

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Persistence often pays off..

April 11th, 2008

This is a lesson that is very apparent in my file right now. I try to teach my students that perseverance and persistence will lead you to great things. Often times we fell the urge to give up right before we are about to experience success. Those who succeed are often those who kept trying after all the others had quit.

This idea is also proving to be true with the ole job search N has embarked upon. Yesterday after putting his resume tape online and applying to all the places he could he got a bite! Tri-Cities, Washington has scheduled a phone interview for Saturday with him. Yay.

So, if you feel like your efforts are pointless and that you should just throw in the towel and give up remember that the ones who persevere and outlast the rest are the ones who succeed! So, do you really want to give up?

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The job search begins!

April 1st, 2008

The resume tape is just a bout done, there are about 4 months left on his contract and the job search is under way!

Job searching can be a tedious and stressful time for anyone. You sift through the possibilities, talk yourself out of the ones you feel are unachievable and then you pursue the ones you feel best suited for. Eventually you end up with another less than fulfilling job somewhere else but is it the job for you?

The worst thing you can do is sell yourself short when job searching. This is something N and I learned first hand a few years back. It’s natural to not want to feel rejected so your tendency is to not be willing to put yourself out there when you aren’t sure you will succeed. That is the worst thing you can do for your job search though!

Learning to entertain all the possibilities and to put yourself out there is very important, it allows you to be noticed by as a many people as possible which in turn leads to more possible options for you to choose from! More options is aways a good thing right?

So, N announced to me this morning that he had submitted like 10 applications to other stations around the country today. He joked that “everyone can have a copy of my resume!”, we are trying to put him out there and to entertain reasonable job offers now so that we have somewhere to go when his current contract is up this summer.

I am a firm believer in things happening for a reason and that if you put yourself out there on the line you are allowing for the right opportunity to find you. Often times the hardest thing is to just convince yourself that you are something worth “selling” and that you should put yourself out there.

If you are a job searching right now say goodbye to limits! Determine the direction you intend on going with your job and let every possible employer know that you are on the search. Let the employers determine if you are good enough or not and keep yourself open to as many possibilities as you can!

In times of change or transition we need to surrender control and open ourselves to the endless possibilities ahead, often times the direction we see ourselves going is not the best thing for us and something else will come about instead that is better in the long run.

We all end up where we are meant to be, everything happens for a reason!

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We all end up where we are meant to be eventually.

March 24th, 2008

I just read a great blog post about U-turns and life. The author articulately compared life is with getting lost while driving. Oh, Dang! I just closed the tab for the blog I was wanting to link to. The blogger just left me a comment so now I have the url again, yay! Follow the link and read the post for yourself!

Eventually we all end up where we are meant to be, the route and surroundings may not be preferable at the time but it gets us to where we are supposed to be sooner or later.

This is perfectly obvious in my life right now. Today marks the day when my partner reached a goal that he set out for over 5 years ago. Today marks his first day in a job he wanted 5 years ago and was told he would never get. They said he didn;t have what it took and that he could not cut it.

Today was his first day on that job. Actually they offered the job to him last month for an insultingly low amount of money and some other unfavorable responsibilities. We moved away from our family 5 years ago to persue this dream and to make it happen. He has paid his dues and when they finally decide to offer him the job it’s too late! He declined the job offer because we knew he could get something better and more favorable once his current contract was up.

Like a bratty 5 year old on the playgroud his employer came back with a “Fine! you don’t want our offer, well we are going to force you to do the job anyway.” So, today he began that job he set out for 5 years ago, goal achieved!

He built himself up from nothing in this career and now has loads of experience and a bright future ahead of him. Five years ago we would have never guessed that this is how we would get to this point but we are here! It’s not necessarily the route we had expected to travel but I think we needed to experience it in order to grow and become more prepared.

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