Since I have no staff to do my grunt work, test my recipes and generally make me look good it’s no surprise I’m not showcasing “Martha Stewart” quality baked goods right? Somehow that fact doesn’t make my pissed-off-at-the-damn-pie-dough attitude any better today…
Mama had a melt down last night. Almost two days of solo parenting was coming to a close, we just picked 24lbs of cherries, canned some rhubarb and were on to making/ eating dinner and making a cherry pie. Everly was helping with everything too (which means it took my brainpower to direct and supervise her).
After many attempts at rolling the chilled dough, the dough-covered rolling pin flew from my hands at high speed and crashed in to the cabinets before falling to the floor. I threw it, I was so mad! And my kids had to witness it.
I have an explosive anger tendency that is typically well managed. Last night, the first time since becoming a mother, it reared it’s ugly head. Luckliy, unlike some wife-beating relatives, my anger isn’t people directed but it is still a nasty thing to carry around.
Today I took another stab at the pie crust and was partly successful but still unpleased. Here is why:
Whether it was the newly introduced animal lard I used (instead of the yucky Crisco/ vegetable shortening I have mastered) or the fact that I had kids underfoot, the pie didn’t turn out as I had hoped it would… but I am damn glad it’s finished. May be ugly but it IS done.
This whole city dweller gone homesteading wife thing is both a challenge and an adventure. Growing to eat and then eating all you grow is a valuable learning experience for us (and most city raised people) that is littered with bumps along the way. Most of the time bumps are met with humor. Occasionally struggles seem impossibly hard and things are thrown.
And why are you blogging this total failure?
Because I think it is important to embrace the bad with the good and “keep it real”. I hate seeing all those “I am so amazing look at me” posts from people who try to put themselves out there as these shiny, perfect little things. It isn’t real and it doesn’t help me when I am looking for solutions.
So if you land here looking for homemade animal lard pie crust tips or experiences, revel in my failure and laugh. It is one of these moments and that is okay…
The next time I try out Betty Crocker’s damn pie crust recipe I’ll be sure to do it without kids underfoot because I believe the temperature and the dough combined with the amount of water added is key as well as timely action when the dough conditions are right.
Pastry for pies and tarts - Two-Crust Pie Recipe
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 2/3 cup +2 tablespoons shortening
- 4 to 5 tablespoons cold water
Betty Crocker says:
Pie pastry that is too tender or falls apart is caused by too little water or too much shortening.
Pie pastry that is dry in merely, or not flakey is caused by shortening being cut into finely or too little water.
Gee that’s helpful. Thanks Betty! - Nope.
If you have animal lard pie crust tip or perl of wisdom please do share it in the comments. This blogger could use some HELP!