Being a transplant to the Midwest has sure made for some new experiences. After three years there are still things we’ll encounter that just throw us for a loop now and then. You know, like sweet tea being given automatically in restaurants or the automatic “So which church do you attend?” conversation starter.

During the holiday season especially, when people are out in throngs, we really get annoyed. Mainly because the Midwest has this sicky-sweet passive aggressive woman syndrome going on.

Our first observation of this type of person was our first winter in Evansville, when we attended the Ballet. We were early so nobody was being seated just yet, we were all out in the lobby waiting. Boisterous women would call out to each other across the room, walk up to one another, exchange fake niceties then turn to walk away while quite loudly talking trash about the person they were just being all sicky-sweet to.

“Did you see that disgusting jacket she was wearing?” or “Oh my that dress is so tacky!”

Um… Hello! The person you are saying bad things about is right behind you and can still hear you!

We were kind of in awe of this overtly fake, backstabby behavior. Especially since so many out here pride themselves for being Christian. It doesn’t exactly seem Christian to be so mean and nasty to your friends or even your enemies for that matter. But what er we know? We don’t attend your church.

Just because you didn’t say it to their face doesn’t mean it isn’t rude. Actually, it is more rude in my opinion and also cowardly.

Today was especially amusing because we were getting all sorts of nasty looks from strangers (and even a few openly talking trash to others about us). It was all because they didn’t like how we were handling our kids in the pouring rain it seems. These were all older women I should add, like women that could be great-grandmothers to the girls.

I typically don’t pay much attention to these sort of things but when Nathan picked up on it and said something I became all too aware of it. Apparently, Adalyn wasn’t bundled up enough for their liking. Two years ago, the winter of Everly’s first year we had the same issues with people. It is like parenting a newborn automatically gives people the right to judge and criticize. As if newborn parenting isn’t hard enough already

This woman at Kohls just stopped in her tracks to scowl and discuss us, just feet away at the front door as we were entering the store. Not approaching us or offering advice just giving dirty looks and trash talking from a few feet away. She is lucky I missed my moment to pounce and was too busy with my kids to notice.

Back on the west coast this sort of thing isn’t nearly as common. People either keep their thoughts and opinions to themselves or they have the balls to come up to you and share their 2 cents. I like to just air the opinions or thoughts directly if they are worth the time to dwell on…

I’ve never seen a more cowardly, rude, passive aggressive bunch of bitches until I moved to Evansville, Indiana. It must be something in the sweet tea here. Of course not all Evansville women are like this but there is surely a more concentrated bunch of them here, more that I’ve ever noticed in other places, Scottsdale included. It still blows my mind.

An open letter to the cowardly, rude, passive aggressive bitches,

I realize it has been many years since you raised your babies but nowadays they tell you to NOT put your kids in heavy jackets, pram suits and such while they are in their car seats. Did you know that?

What would you have me do? Break the car seat recommendations and risk her life so she can wear a big jacket?

Or maybe I should unbuckle my kid in the pouring rain/ snow, then proceed to dress her in the snow suit/ bulky jacket just so I can take her 10 feet in the weather to reach the doors to the store I’m shopping at…

How much longer do you think she’ll be in the outdoor elements while I fuss with putting her outdoor gear on as opposed to just covering her with a blanket and running her across the parking lot?

Plus, she is in warm clothes to begin with- including the impossible to keep on newborn socks… and she is under my umbrella in addition to being head-to-toe under a blanket. She is just fine.

If you had the balls to ask me to my face about my parenting choices I’d be happy to calmly explain why you are an idiot.

Oh, that is right… You didn’t like people criticizing your parenting choices so why on earth would you want to approach and then criticize another parent about their’s?

Oops, your glaringly passive aggressive trash talking is something we DO notice so I guess you are really no better than those criticizing bitches you despised when your babies were young. High five for you! Loser.

Oh and F-you, my kid is just fine.

Sincerely,

Talina

P.S. If all the lazy, perfectly able people in this town weren’t blocking the store’s front doors with their cars so they could shelter themselves from the elements, perhaps those of us with infants and small kids could quickly hop out of the car and be in the weather less.