Expectations sure can lead to sabotage so I normally try to avoid speculating and getting set on one certain outcome or scenario in my head.
With pregnancy and childbirth expectations sure run rampant. Well meaning people around you get excited about the big event and begin speculating about the sex of the baby, the baby’s hair color, how much weight you’ll gain, how fast you’ll drop the weight, how much baby will weight, when baby will be born, how long you’ll labor, what time of day you’ll labor and so on…
[POPUP=IMG1]Some of the trivial and sometimes fun speculation does manage to turn in to expectations as the event nears. Especially when it comes to the parents to be, their families and the care providers. This mainly includes expectations about when labor should start, how it will start and how long it should take.
For this pregnancy I’ve had lots of outside expectations and speculations launched my way and I am sorry to say I’ve kind of allowed them to imprint on me.
First, I was said to deliver earlier than I previously did because I’m a 2nd time mom. I worried about early labor and not being near my midwife when labor started. Well, this is my “due date week” and there has been no unusually early labor so that wasn’t correct.
Then it was also said that labor will come on faster and will go quicker also because I am a 2nd time mom and my body knows the drill. My water may or may not break but the contractions will leave no room for confusion about the true onset of labor and blah, blah, blah…
Friends and family are speculating about all the unknowns and I am over here at 40 weeks pregnant wondering if this baby will ever come (and seriously wishing I’d never listed to any of the speculations in the first place).
It’s not so much the lack control over the birth that kills me it is more the stress and anxiety that comes along with the possibilities of things going longer than we anticipated.
Like Nathan’s work schedule and the allotted time off he has, the finances of affording to rent a place out here, the cost of food, the fact that Nathan wont have the time to be home to settle in with us once we get back from The Farm and so on…
The devastation and disappointment of off target expectations are enough to drive any woman to waver or even consider & consent to other options for achieving the desired goal.
I wouldn’t change my decision to birth with midwives and would never entertain the thought of inducing (aka rushing) my baby out of the womb for my own conveniences. It is just stressful and a bit unnerving to go all this time hearing about how it will be one way (and believing it) only to learn first hand that the expectations weren’t quite on target. It is my fault for not taking it all with a grain of salt I suppose.
Luckily, I have the knowledge and first hand experience of what a natural, unmanaged birth can be. This is what will get me through. My baby girl, for whatever reason needs some extra “cooking time” and isn’t quite ready to emerge. We are lucky enough to not have a provider breathing down our backs about going past due dates and such so we count our blessings and cool our heels. Despite the major suckage.
Baby Girl, we will follow your lead and will wait until you are ready to come to us. Everything is set and we anxiously await your arrival, take your time and we will see you soon!