Five days ago my labor started, actually it was more like six days ago but I didn’t have much real progress on that first day. Adalyn is now four days old and we are seeming to kind of already be in a nice groove. It is really odd and unexpected actually. We’ve been fully anticipating a replay of Everly’s first weeks of life.

Miss Adalyn is 100% opposite of Everly as far as infant behavior goes. She… (dare I say) sleeps independently for the most part, nurses like a champ then sleeps some more. I feel rested and kind of useless actually since she not needing holding or ’round the clock comfort nursing.

Adalyn’s first night of life was hard but not nearly as difficult as it was with Everly. She fussed of course but it wasn’t an all night ordeal and it was cure-able with co-sleeping and nursing to sleep. In those first few days and nights before your milk comes in and while baby is adjusting to life outside the womb with her own organs doing their work, it is typically rough.

Babies don’t sleep for long stretches and they cry, it is their only chance to insure their survival. Human babies are most vulnerable of all mammal babies. All they can do is keep breathing and cry to bring their protectors near if there is danger. They cry to signal needs or if scared. So we basically resolved to have fuss and seemingly incurable crying with newborn Adalyn.

Everly cried lots and needed much “kangaroo care”, being constantly in our arms or lap most all the time. We assumed this was true for all babies until Adalyn came along. I still think her behaviors are NOT the norm when it comes to the majority of babies.

Of course, with Everly my milk took four or five days to come in. This time my milk was in on about day two with full on engorgement by day three. I had my weepy-hormone drop time a day earlier that what is common my midwife says. Another thing that was way easier this time is getting baby to latch and nurse painlessly. Last time we struggled for a few days with latch and I  am sure this also had an impact on how long it took for my milk to come in.

Nursing and milk supply no doubt play a major role in how smoothly things settle in to place for baby and parents in that first week or so. This is why we were so set on the skin to skin contact and the access to boobs immediately following birth. I had no intention of giving Adalyn to anyone until she had latched on a suckled for a bit right after being born.

Things have remained surprisingly calm for us in these five days days since the birth, we are very thankful and kind of amazed by it.

Recovery wise I am doing well. Not hurting or having too many pains these days. After pains have cleared up, bones are still hurting in the lower back, pelvis and hips but ice helps them. I am counting down the days till I am clear for a chiropractic adjustment.

I still have five more days of bed rest to adhere to so that I can properly heal. I did tear again, 2nd degree this time. I tore around the previous tear’s scar tissue, after crowning.

My midwife said crowning was well controlled but when Miss Adalyn’s ears and the rest of her began to come out she actually had her right hand on her right cheek and basically extended her arm and grabbed hold of my midwife’s hand before her shoulders or arms were anywhere close to being delivered. That is when I tore. Got about 11 stitches this round, much less than my 4th degree tear and massive stitches with Everly.

I actually think the majority of swelling is down and healing is going quite fast. I’ve been feeling much better and my energy is up so keeping immobile is annoying but I am doing my best to keep still and rest myself.

We are still working to add the 2nd part of the birth video to the website but are missing our DV to USB cable right now. The first part of the birth/ labor is already online for those interested.

Expectations sure can lead to sabotage so I normally try to avoid speculating and getting set on one certain outcome or scenario in my head.

With pregnancy and childbirth expectations sure run rampant. Well meaning people around you get excited about the big event and begin speculating about the sex of the baby, the baby’s hair color, how much weight you’ll gain, how fast you’ll drop the weight, how much baby will weight, when baby will be born, how long you’ll labor, what time of day you’ll labor and so on…

[POPUP=IMG1]Some of the trivial and sometimes fun speculation does manage to turn in to expectations as the event nears. Especially when it comes to the parents to be, their families and the care providers. This mainly includes expectations about when labor should start, how it will start and how long it should take.

For this pregnancy I’ve had lots of outside expectations and speculations launched my way and I am sorry to say I’ve kind of allowed them to imprint on me.

First, I was said to deliver earlier than I previously did because I’m a 2nd time mom. I worried about early labor and not being near my midwife when labor started. Well, this is my “due date week” and there has been no unusually early labor so that wasn’t correct.

Then it was also said that labor will come on faster and will go quicker also because I am a 2nd time mom and my body knows the drill. My water may or may not break but the contractions will leave no room for confusion about the true onset of labor and blah, blah, blah…

Friends and family are speculating about all the unknowns and I am over here at 40 weeks pregnant wondering if this baby will ever come (and seriously wishing I’d never listed to any of the speculations in the first place).

It’s not so much the lack control over the birth that kills me it is more the stress and anxiety that comes along with the possibilities of things going longer than we anticipated.

Like Nathan’s work schedule and the allotted time off he has, the finances of affording to rent a place out here, the cost of food, the fact that Nathan wont have the time to be home to settle in with us once we get back from The Farm and so on…

The devastation and disappointment of off target expectations are enough to drive any woman to waver or even consider & consent to other options for achieving the desired goal.

I wouldn’t change my decision to birth with midwives and would never entertain the thought of inducing (aka rushing) my baby out of the womb for my own conveniences. It is just stressful and a bit unnerving to go all this time hearing about how it will be one way (and believing it) only to learn first hand that the expectations weren’t quite on target. It is my fault for not taking it all with a grain of salt I suppose.

Luckily, I have the knowledge and first hand experience of what a natural, unmanaged birth can be. This is what will get me through. My baby girl, for whatever reason needs some extra “cooking time” and isn’t quite ready to emerge. We are lucky enough to not have a provider breathing down our backs about going past due dates and such so we count our blessings and cool our heels. Despite the major suckage.

Baby Girl, we will follow your lead and will wait until you are ready to come to us. Everything is set and we anxiously await your arrival, take your time and we will see you soon!

Much Love,
Your Family